


Missed Opportunities Not Lost

by enigmationx



Category: Hello! Project, Morning Musume.
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-02-12 11:51:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2108841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmationx/pseuds/enigmationx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we missed." - F.Scott Fitzgerald</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missed Opportunities Not Lost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Estrea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea/gifts).



** Kudo **

 

“Ugghhh damn the sunlight…”

 

I must’ve forgotten to close the blinds last night.

 

Using my left arm to block out the sunlight, my right hand went around the bed searching for my phone. Did the alarm even went off I wonder…

 

Hold on a second… What is this big round thing I’m touching?

 

“Eek!”

 

I retracted my right hand quickly and gave it a stare - this hand… this hand just groped Sayashi-san’s butt. Baka! Baka! How could I have forgotten that I invited Sayashi-san for a stay last night?

 

As I sat up, still having my fist clenched at my stupidity... I saw the posters on my wall…

 

“I don’t want Sayashi-san to wake up to these…”

 

I was never embarrassed about posters of myself on the wall but to think that Sayashi-san will wake up to images of my face… I’ll just bring them down temporarily.

 

Sigh. Sayashi-san staying here in my room wasn’t part of the plan.

 

It all started when she offered to stay longer at the studio to help me practice my role in Lilium. I accepted her kind offer because I do need the extra practice since I missed the last one due to a magazine shot.

 

To make it even between us, I casually asked “Can I buy you dinner after this? I’ll bring you to this Ramen shop that I found recently. Their soup base is one of the best in the area.”

 

“Sure.” Sayashi-san gave out her usual smile but a wider one this time. Yabai. Whenever she does this to me I can’t help but quickly look away, afraid that she will do any more damage to me.

 

I’ve been having feelings for Sayashi-san since Gogakuyuu but I never did have the guts to tell her. Not that I want to either since I know I’m definitely not her type. Actually, I don’t even know if she has a type. Sayashi-san is THAT hard to read.

 

We continued our conversation about the musical over dinner and eventually started talking about our favorite movies, the quotes we liked and the kind of actresses we aspire to be. It was a very meaningful conversation and definitely motivates me to do better. This is the kind of energy I get whenever I hang out with Sayashi-san.

 

“I’ve been dying to watch that movie.”

 

“Me too! Why don’t we watch it after this? We don’t have work tomorrow anyway.”

 

That seriously caught me off guard. Sayashi-san never initiates anything like this with me.

 

Without further ado, I picked up my phone and started searching for the movie’s showtime.

 

“There’s one in 30 minutes time.”

 

“Let’s go for that.”

 

All that talk about movies must’ve gotten her excited.

 

That 15 minutes walk to the cinema? My heart was racing like crazy and I think I could’ve been smiling the whole time because my cheeks hurt so bad when we reach the ticketing booth.

 

“Seats in green are available. Do you want a couple seat?”

 

*Cough*

 

“These two seats over here on this row are good for us.”

 

“Duu.. are you ok? Your ears are so red.”

 

“Huh?! Whut? Oh.. I’m fine. I think it is just how my ears are. Nevermind them please.”

 

I don’t get it. I’ve been trying so hard to distract myself from Sayashi-san by hanging out with other girls, hoping that it will help me get rid of these feelings I have for her. But just look at what I did. That was at least 4 or 5 steps back.

 

 

** Sayashi **

It is 9.30 already?

 

Don’t be too surprised Riho, it was a rather long night yesterday.

 

I didn’t intend to go out with Kuduu but It has been an intense week of practice and I needed a break. Everyone has a friend for every need right? And Kuduu was just the right person I need at that time. Her passion for work and spontaneous character creates the kind of atmosphere for me to express what I couldn’t normally. Being able to express freely helped me sort out my mind.

 

Oh, right. How did I end up here in Kuduu’s room?

 

After the movie the both of us rushed to the train station but unfortunately I missed my last train home by a minute. Luckily Kuduu was still there with me when it happened. I’m thankful that she invited me to her place for a night’s stay.

 

This is the first time I’m in Kuduu’s room. It is surprisingly neat for someone who has two younger brothers.

 

“Oh Sayashi-san you’re finally up! I’m glad that I do not have to think of another way to wake you up.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You almost punched me during my last attempt of waking you up. Practicing that move at False in your dreams?”

 

“I’m so sorry about that.”

 

“Don’t apologize, I’m sure we are all used to your sleeping habits by now… I’m just joking! Here, take this face towel and toothbrush. As for my pajamas… just place them into the laundry basket behind that door. When you’re done, come out to the kitchen will ya?”

 

Kuduu has always been very kind to everyone but being this hospitable was something beyond my expectation.

 

As I stepped out of the bathroom, I can’t help but to stop and take one last look at Kuduu’s room, still surprised at how neat it looks I found what looked like a pile of paper or towel lying on the ground. Strange. That seems out of place.

 

Ah ha! It must’ve been the wind last night that brought them down to the ground. I will just fix this really quick before heading out to the kitchen.

 

“These are posters of Kuduu herself!”

 

Did I just said that out loud? So the legendary story of her hanging posters of herself in her own room is true. I let out a giggle uncontrollably.

 

To be honest, Kuduu has really nice facial features - the golden ratio of a doll. Plus, the fact that she is so versatile being able to pull off a girly or a boyish look makes me jealous sometimes. She really knows how to pose for a good picture and that lips of hers are sexy… but no way I’m saying that to a narcissist. 

 

I walked out to the kitchen and saw breakfast laid out on the table.

 

“Sayashi-san please, sit down. Would you like hot tea or orange juice?”

 

“Hot tea please. Did you made all these?”

 

“My family is out today so yeap I’m your breakfast chef today. These are all just very basic stuffs, I hope you don’t mind.”

 

I’ve seen pictures of Kuduu’s cooking on her blog but I’ve not tasted them before.

 

“You’re too kind. Thank you for taking the trouble to prepare this for me early in the morning.”

 

Oh my, this taste really good! You know they say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach? I think that works for me too.

 

“You enjoy cooking?”

 

“I’m still experimenting but yes I do enjoy cooking a lot. What’s really fun is that you can eat your experiment after. That I find very rewarding.”

 

I wanted to give her a compliment but somehow decided not to. This contracting act of mine… could it be that I’m trying to hide away the faint feelings I have for her?

 

 

** Kudo **

 

After doing the dishes I suddenly realized that the time I have with Sayashi-san is approaching the end. That sudden realization completely turned my mood around.

 

Part of me wanted to let her walk to the train station alone so that the pain will end right here and now. However the part of me that wanted to be with her just a little bit longer was stronger.

 

We never spoke a single word to each other throughout the journey to the train station. Sayashi-san looked like she enjoyed her peaceful walk but for me I was holding in, trying not to explode.

 

I could just let it go and tell it all to Sayashi-san but I’m afraid that she might feel disgusted that I have an interest in her.

 

“Thank you for your hospitality. I really appreciate it.”

 

“Ah It is nothing. Thank you for spending time with me. I really enjoyed our time together.”

 

Come on Haru, say something more.

 

“Sayashi-san?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Let’s sit down on the bench over there.”

 

“You don’t have to wait for the train with me. I have already troubled you much.”

 

“Ah.. no I just want to make sure you get on the train safe. I have the responsibility to let your parents know you’re on your way home.”

 

Dammit Haru. Try harder.

 

“Kuduu? Turn your face over here.”

 

“...”

 

“Your fringe is off. Let me help you fix it.”

 

I can feel my ears getting warm again and it is slowly spreading to my cheeks. Why do you have to do this kinda thing to me right now Sayashi-san? My mind just became completely blank!

 

My mind got kicked back out to reality when I hear the sound of the train. It was then I knew I just blew my last chance to confess to Sayashi-san today.

 

“Kuduu , thank you so much for everything.”

 

She gave me a hug.

 

I wanted to put my arms around her waist but I just stood there like a tree.

 

When the train started to move, I could feel that my nervousness submerged along with the trailing sound of the train running on the tracks until it was none.

I spent the rest of the walk reminiscing the good times with Sayashi-san and thinking about where to ask her out next time.

 

Oddly enough I felt a sense a relief. Perhaps it was a good thing that I didn’t say anything more. I think this is good enough for me.

 

 

** Sayashi **

 

Finally some alone time for myself in the train but I must admit that I do feel a bit lonely.

 

Back at the platform, I could sense Kuduu’s uneasiness. It looked like she was about to tell me something serious, like a confession but I’m glad she didn’t.

 

Truth is I do like her but I’m not ready to accept nor having the heart to reject. I just want things to stay as they are.

 

It is not that I want to make things harder for myself or Kuduu… I’m just wondering if she was just attracted to my hard-to-read or “interesting” character just like other people do. My true self is when I’m with my family - spoiled, selfish and hard to dealt with which I’m very sure she hasn’t seen that side of me yet.

 

A little bit of good feelings for each other is enough to bring two people together. You do not need a lot for something to happen but for Kuduu I wanted to wait a bit longer.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, thank you for actually getting to the end! Did you know you just read my first fanfic? Here, have a cookie~
> 
> @Estrea, I don't think I'll ever write something like this if it wasn't for your good work! XD You! You keep on writing ok? Otherwise I might create more damage to this fanfic world.


End file.
